Biological

It's 1am and I should be sleeping, I want to be sleeping. But for some reason after sex I always have a surge of thoughts and emotions running through me. I read somewhere that sex is more potent than Valium. It may be true for someone like my husband, who instantly will pass out after wards. But for me, it's the complete opposite. I'm usually awake for hours, just thinking..
Two topics come to mind. The first being M's biological father.
Within the last few days we have been corresponding. I felt that when she turned six that I wanted to contact him and update him with pictures. I felt after six years, maybe just maybe, he's interested in this life that he created.
So I sent a few pictures and a brief message saying that if he ever wanted to know anything about Mia, had any questions or comments or anything, I'm more than willing to share them with him.
Weeks passed and I heard nothing. I felt dumb for even thinking that after six years he may have grown up, just a little. Until yesterday.
I got a message from him stating that he thought M was beautiful. He thought I looked happy, in the pictures he saw. He informed me of the trouble he is having with the state due to back child support. Which I relinquished him of years ago. Evidently, the paperwork never went through and he's been having trouble getting jobs, getting a passport, buying a house, finishing school.
I feel bad for all of these troubles in his life. But he did make a bed and he did lie in it. My life hasn't been hunky dory either. My whole world changed as well.
But I did tell him that I am more than willing to contact the state to clear up the confusion. I made it clear that it was never intentional. And that I was sorry he was having a hard time.
I explained to be the reason why he signed over his rights, which I always thought was because of the money. But he informed me it was because he never had a full time father and he never wanted M to have to grow up like that. He knew that Mr. M would be right there to take care of her and be there for her every step of the way. In ways, he could not be.
He stated that he was sorry for how things turned out. He was young and didn't know what the hell he was doing. Which is completely understandable. I was young as well but made it very clear that M was always my main concern. I had to put her needs before anything else. He agreed and had no hard feelings.
We agreed to try to rebuild some sort of friendship. Start fresh and anew. I informed him that M does not know of him and that I am waiting until she is older and able to fully understand the situation before I tell her. After that, she is able to do what she wishes, whether it be having a relationship with him or not. J seemed to agree with that and thought it was a wise decision.
All and all, I thought the conversations went well. Are we best friends? No. Do I forgive him? Yes.
It's going to take a lot of work to re patch the last six years of our lives.


Shit, now I've forgotten my second topic. Figures...